Today, August 13, a leading national newspaper carries a centre page spread titled – ‘How To Save The Games.’ No points for guessing what ‘The Games’ is. Our politicians can really f*** things up. Let’s have it on the record folks – India is in trouble.
While there is a lot of anger in our hearts, I just thought I should highlight a few of these firefighting measures that can ‘save’ The Games (Hell, I can’t even abbreviate it to TG since the goons at Top Gear have registered trademark!). I may as well go along with CWG then.
1. Compose a Theme Song: And what would we call it, I ask – We goofed it! We goofed it! or We’re All Drowning in the Same Swimming Pool
2. Bring in Bollywood: Who better to make us all forget about realities and bask in fantasy than Bollywood? So get those actors out to dance on the dais and pull our uneducated nation in for all the support. Which brings us to another problem, and I think I should have begun with that - Funding this, which is where the problem actually began
3. PM to Step In: …and be trounced. This is as ingenious as it is criminal. Our Journalists can actually publish papers on Cut-throat Scapegoat-ing Techniques. Who can be made scapegoat? Could we please spare the old gentleman?
4. Cheerleaders: It worked for IPL 1, and we don’t see how it can’t for CWG 19. Perhaps we failed to notice how it didn’t quite work for IPL 2 and 3.
Alright, so Saving the Games is more important than Saving the Nation. The irony is that the measures elucidated above may click and just might Save the Games, but if that happens, Saving the Nation will be a plan that would easily be pushed aside.
A colleague of mine had a wonderful idea. A privately funded NGO whose focus and objective would be to shoot point-blank at corrupt political people and return them to the soil (V for Vendetta, anyone?). Funding wouldn’t be a problem at all. Contribution will come from far and wide. Finding the right people will be easy. C’mon, there are plenty of ex-army men with us, and God, don’t get me started on this huge youth majority that simply despises our politicians.
Who’s ’game’ for Saving the Nation?
I am almost certain we, Indians , would forget all about CWG when we get to know of a bigger scam. Bhopal, Bofors, Fodder, Satyam, IPL …..see I have missed out so many in between .
Posted by Meena | August 13, 2010, 9:38 amDude, Why can’t we bring in people like shakira to do a bit of hip excercise..
Some song like ‘Dhoka Dhoka’ which I doubt not will make a hit.
Some street kids from delhi are always there to assist.
V killed a single bunch of criminals, we need someone like Hitler. Those to be returned to the soil are huge in number and shooting’d take too much time. I advocate drowning. That might create a good eco balance in the poor old seas of the world and they’d be converted to useful fuel which our offspring can use to fire their V8s.
Posted by vijay | August 13, 2010, 11:21 pmAt the outset, I thank two loyal readers who have kept this blog alive by regularly commenting upon these ramblings.
@Venkat: V8s propelled by fossilized politicians is a wonderful idea. Only, since the bloody process takes ages, we may not be there to actually see Aston Martins powered by the Congress!
You’re right, ammunition costs a lot. Drowning is cheap, not to mention thorough while public guillotines would be too dramatic.
Posted by Odeen | August 14, 2010, 9:44 am